Wednesday, 8 April 2015

'Tis the whippet lore

The Whippet Lore - as handed down by the Great Brindle Whippet of Ancient Tyme.....(with some adaptation for modern life)

1) I will always stand or lie in the most inconvenient place to my humans particularly when they are trying to cook, use the bathroom or carry heavy items

2) I will always pick at or ignore my own food but will be very keen to try human food especially that which is forbidden to me such as chocolate; when refused I will do my best hungry whippet shiver/stare

3) I will always demand to be covered up by a duvet, blanket or cosy throw when lying on any bed, sofa or chair

I've got my seat, where are you going to go?

4) I will sulk and mope if I am denied access to soft furnishings or beds

5) I will pretend to have perfect recall and trick my humans, until I see a rabbit/squirrel/pigeon/other small furry thing at which point my ears will close to all external sound including the frantic calling of my name

6) I will assess the weather situation before allowing myself to be taken for a walk - I may decline the opportunity if the weather is wet, cold, snowy or I just don't feel like it

7) I will demonstrate the correct behaviour of zooming about, doing the bitey-face thing and excitable leaping when I meet another sighthound

8) I will demonstrate the correct behaviour of total disdain for any other type of dog and show my superiority through running exceptionally fast so that they cannot catch me when on a walk; this rule does not apply to other dogs in my family whom I may graciously acknowledge

9) I will always stick my legs out straight when sleeping in my humans' bed to make sure that they have to sleep on the edge in case I need them to get up for me in the night

10) I will always endeavour to roll in fox pooh, dead fishes, cow pats or other rank substances just after a bath, grooming session or any occasion where cleanliness is required

11) I will wear fancy dress costumes, silly hats or novelty accessories only under protest or when a large treat is guaranteed
Santa had better bring me a good present!

12) I will always be a gentle and loyal friend to my family.

Lazy whippet and tiny friend

copyright Julia Jepps April 2015

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